Take
a Dive
Sand
shifts underneath my foot as the tide washes gently over
And
then rips from under my feet solid ground
A
hole is formed
Filling
with sea water
That
stings the cuts raw
And
disinfects too
I
stand feeling the first sting
As
a thousand cuts scream
“What
is happening?”
I
keep upright looking, searching the light
that
dances on top of the water as the sun sets
I
shift uncomfortable
Knowing
that the salt and water
Will
eventually heal those marks
Fresh
cut from straining so hard
To
keep uncomfortable shoes on
Keeping
up appearances
Looking
to the horizon
I’m
blinded by the deepening colors
Contrasted
shadow
And
super nova sun that burns
Brighter
than the midday
Fighting
for that last gasp
A
strong wave splashes hard
Stinging
my eyes with sea
Fresh
pain, I reach up
Rubbing
in sand, making it worse
I
curse wanting to run
A
nearby stranger hands me water
Nothing
is exchanged
No
cries of help
They
saw my discomfort
They
appeared beside me
Giving
me aid because I hurt
Grateful,
I wash
Flush
my eyes of the particulates
That
grinds driving me nearly to madness
It
all happened in an instant
The
sand is flushed
Running
in stains down my face
Eyes
red on fire
The
color of anger
Staring
at the deep blue sea
So
deep, I cannot see the bottom
The
floor I can imagine, but just
From
drawings, photographs, and descriptions
I
have gathered in my cortex for context
I
search the files there conjuring up an image
We
stand side by side silent
Searching
the horizon
No
need for words
Autism
stretches as the sea before me
Calling
me to look at the vastness
To
imagine the deep places
It
stings as it heals yet hurts
It
is a beautiful when light and sun interplay
Illuminating
the mysteries and changing the colors
It
makes me want to jump in
It
makes me want to dive down deep and explore
It
makes me cautious as I am not a strong swimmer
So,
I stand on the edge
We
stand with it washing over our feet
On
the beach
A
part and not a part of it
Studying
what it is and is not
Feeling
the force of a wave crash into us
And
feel the tide wanting to pull me in
Tickling
my feet now as the wet sand
Digs
me in deeper
Cementing
me firmly to this spot
On
the edge forever bouncing
From
horizon to light to color
to
wave to pull to deep
I
can no longer see my feet
But
I can still stand
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