Wednesday, April 02, 2014

National Autism Awareness Day!

I swear folks, not all my poems are so long. Just in the mood to write these days. Also, I posted a status update that was more like a blog entry this morning about this day and it has garnered some debate over on my FB page. That has spurred these thoughts I'm sure. Here poem #2.
Take a Dive
Sand shifts underneath my foot as the tide washes gently over
And then rips from under my feet solid ground
A hole is formed
Filling with sea water
That stings the cuts raw
And disinfects too
I stand feeling the first sting
As a thousand cuts scream
“What is happening?”
I keep upright looking, searching the light
that dances on top of the water as the sun sets
I shift uncomfortable
Knowing that the salt and water
Will eventually heal those marks
Fresh cut from straining so hard
To keep uncomfortable shoes on
Keeping up appearances
Looking to the horizon
I’m blinded by the deepening colors
Contrasted shadow
And super nova sun that burns
Brighter than the midday
Fighting for that last gasp
A strong wave splashes hard
Stinging my eyes with sea
Fresh pain, I reach up
Rubbing in sand, making it worse
I curse wanting to run
A nearby stranger hands me water
Nothing is exchanged
No cries of help
They saw my discomfort
They appeared beside me
Giving me aid because I hurt
Grateful, I wash
Flush my eyes of the particulates
That grinds driving me nearly to madness
It all happened in an instant
The sand is flushed
Running in stains down my face
Eyes red on fire
The color of anger
Staring at the deep blue sea
So deep, I cannot see the bottom
The floor I can imagine, but just
From drawings, photographs, and descriptions
I have gathered in my cortex for context
I search the files there conjuring up an image
We stand side by side silent
Searching the horizon
No need for words
Autism stretches as the sea before me
Calling me to look at the vastness
To imagine the deep places
It stings as it heals yet hurts
It is a beautiful when light and sun interplay
Illuminating the mysteries and changing the colors
It makes me want to jump in
It makes me want to dive down deep and explore
It makes me cautious as I am not a strong swimmer
So, I stand on the edge
We stand with it washing over our feet
On the beach
A part and not a part of it
Studying what it is and is not
Feeling the force of a wave crash into us
And feel the tide wanting to pull me in
Tickling my feet now as the wet sand
Digs me in deeper
Cementing me firmly to this spot
On the edge forever bouncing
From horizon to light to color
to wave to pull to deep
I can no longer see my feet
But I can still stand

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