It is spring. Our weather is changing minute by minute with temperatures running the gamut and the rain coming in all sizes with intermittent sun. Our Boy is tied to this up and downs of spring. Snapshots of our month so far:
Tuesday, May 2: He fought us in a monumental fight over something small that turned huge lasting for hours. I wrote a poem about it and exhausted I fell into bed.
Friday, May 5th: We sent him off to visit his middle school even though he’d been picked up twice at school that week on high alert and anxious. We spent all day at his new middle school and it was a fantastic day! He had no issues. He talked to another boy about autism and the boy he met was autistic and told him about middle school from his point of view. Our Boy participated in classes and took it all in and when he’d had enough he told us and calmly came home. He was all sunshine and roses this day.
Sunday, May 7th He was a stinker all day. Just not cooperative, but then consented to getting out of the house and going to the most unlikely pick for a movie, Hidden Figures, and he loved it. He even leaned over and spontaneously gave me a kiss on the cheek during a moment there was a little “romance” on the screen. It was sweet.
Tuesday, May 8th: He came home and loudly proclaimed, ”Mama, I had a flawless day!” This is what was written on his report too. He was so proud of himself. I was so proud of him too as he’d written a great poem about the scientists from Hidden Figures. We’d had really great discussions about it. And then the boy who used to yell loudly that he did NOT write poetry to find out that he’d written a poem mainly about Katherine Johnson and how brilliant she was and how hard it all was but that he admired her. I gave him loads of kisses!
Saturday: He was calm, but tired. He said little, but wouldn’t do anything. I don’t think he moved from the couch. He told me to go away and leave him alone. He was surly and a grouch.
Sunday, Mother’s Day: He wrote me the most beautiful 5 paragraph essay about who I am to him and what he notices about me. I am still glowing about that one. I will keep it always. He went to church. He was kind, but stubborn still about some things. He was trying hard to make it a good day for everyone. He did destroy something nice in his room when I had to go to a meeting, but at least it was his property and not something of mine (I did give it to him at Christmas). I guess that was my added bonus mother’s day gift that for a change he didn’t destroy something of mine.
Yesterday: He talked enthusiastically about becoming an airline pilot. But by bedtime he’d changed his mind as he was looking up all kinds of diseases earlier in the evening. He said, “Mama, I want to be a doctor that helps people in developing countries. They need a good doctor to help them survive as so many of them die of curable diseases!” His big heart was showing as he talked about getting people that needed it safe drinking water and medicines. I told him that is a wonderful ambition and if that is what he wanted or to be a pilot or a combo of the two, we’d figure out how to get him through all the school and things he needed to become one or both of those professions. This made him happy. He lectured himself to sleep talking about all the good he would do.
Today: I had been home about ten minutes when the phone call came for us to come to school to get him and hopefully calm him down. We got there to witness him kicking his teacher and fighting two others. He’d been at it a half an hour by the time we got there. He collapsed into my arms sobbing, red faced, sweaty, and defeated while Martin spoke in hushed tones with the teachers and principal. They weren’t mad, but worried. We all are about this. It was sudden.
He couldn’t let something go that happened, as far as we could tell once he spoke about it a while ago, maybe even a couple of weeks back, when we picked him up the first of the month. He can’t let go of it as it is against a fellow student. The teachers were protecting that student and then our Boy from himself. The student is fine as they got there in time, but his teachers are worse for wear. He’s out of school tomorrow. We hope that helps reset whatever switch in the weather. We’re talking him through it and trying to change whatever processing that he’s struggling through.
It is supposed to sunny the rest of this week past tomorrow. I hope that is the case and our Boy will follow suit. One of his past teachers called him “Sunshine” as his nickname. He is every bit that when he wants to be or feels free to be that and every bit as loving. So many people are charmed by him. I am. He is our “sunshine” even on a cloudy day.