NaMoWriPo #24: I will say that this doesn’t happen as much anymore but when it does, this is how I feel. My adult autistic son handles so many things better than he used to but when he needs me, I feel it.

 Emergency Contact

Driving to get you

Your voice jarred

What was not new

From a space deep

That rose to the surface

The bruises that stay hidden

Until an emergency

That used to be a daily

Someone says, “Come now”

Back then voices of strangers, teachers, friends

This moment is yours

“come now” startled me

And I slid into a place

That cut down where

The whispered worries

Party all night

To say you are not all right

I stare at those tender patches

That appeared with the tears

Pushed by fears and panic

Borrowed from you

It bellows from me

As I race to be with you

NaMoWriPo #22 I’m just feeling a bit whiney with my husband embarking on a trip for the weekend. He’s headed to a funeral and anymore when we are separated, I think about the bigger gulf that happens when one of us will be alone ultimately and I dread it for either of us.

 Poem #23 is a dumping of things that happen in teaching special ed. Emotions are smooshed into a poem as I've got to put them somewhere.

 

Separation Anxiety

I don’t want to go to bed

Because you aren’t there

There’s no point in making dinner

As I am making it for one

Going out isn’t on my agenda

because I can’t converse with you

Gone are the things I want to do

Without my love, without my love

 

Elephant’s Room

Commentary comes in all forms

Fast and furious

Fueled by joy or anger

It can be a stranger

That delivers the final straw

They hold over you

Saying they’ll sue

For a tiny thing done

Or left undone

You are shunned

Put on hold

Slapped with cold

Hard, icy fingers

That squeezes the life

Out of what you enjoyed

You avoid doing more

Because of what is

Is being judged

Drug through the mud

Because it was issued

That you were not perfect

At “thus and so”

But you didn’t know

How to serve

In a way to save

The day for this person

That expected a lot

More than you sought to give

You live with an open heart

To make your little space as welcoming

That you can

To span further than rules

In schools that box kids in

You think it is a sin

Making your head spin

That they won’t forgive

Letting you in

Where these strangers have been

To resend pulling from the right bin

The one where the elephant lives

 NaMoWriPo #21: Too many thoughts tonight. “When a door closes a window opens,” I think is the saying. What happens when all you have is a closed door and the window never opens? That combined with these magazine covers I saw the other day in the drugstore made me think…

 Nine Lives

Time steals away on soft cat-like paws

Leaping lightly from surface to perch

To lurch to a halt

Lingering at the window

Silently hunting from safety

Desire pulsing for the prey

Just out of reach

It lays down

Resolved to watch

Tail twitching

Eyes dilated seeing everything

Wanting more now

It wriggles slightly

Settling in

Waiting patiently

For the door to open

Before what is taunting it

Gets away

 NaMoWriPo # 20: I’ve missed 5 days of poetry writing because my mind was too on fire with casting decisions and pure exhaustion. Still coming out of it, but I can’t hardly let this day float away without an attempt as it is Shakespeare’s Birthday plus the anniversary of the day, I kissed my love for the first time and never looked back!

 

As This Old Moon Wanes

Methinks the old moon

Looks down from her watery orb

Surrounded by a haze

That stays enhancing

Her glowy eye that shines so bright

She gazes at us

Our eyes have gone from electric

To well-washed glass

With pinpricks of imperfections and bubbles

In the corners

Yet center focus

From https://unsplash.com/@aronvisuals

That goes in and out

Searching for each other’s

Thoughts and sighs

Under yonder companion

The bold harbinger in the sky

That said “lean into love”

Where we cuddled for warmth

In the sharp April wind

Gazing up wondering

If we would do this ever again

Or wander away from this night

Wrapped up in the dark robe of night

Thrown over our shoulders

We didn’t move

Stood in the moon’s spotlight

Willing her to marry us

Blessing what future we imagined

But we have but slumbered here

Whilst these visions did appear

Better than our dreams, my dear

 NaMoWriPo #19 This poem is a slice of my life as I am right now making it! I should dedicate this poem to my son who loves his Mama’s humble hummus. He lives off the stuff!

 

Hummus

Crisp peels with spring bright green sprigs

White smooth quarter-fat moons

Snap a spicey sent as I peel

Sounding like plastic pins

Dropped into the processor

That chops in chunks and bits

Crushing out the germane main

Gracious garlic sets the stage

Weather opening cans

Or having soaked and boiled

The chickpeas bounce

Happily, into the container

Like tiny basketballs dropped

For the team to gather up

Members fall in line

Ready for the practice

As the next layer

Topped with a crown

Of dark tan tahini

Slicked down

With greenish glowy olive oil

That looks like

Something to smear

On one’s face

Instead of on pita or veg

Mustn’t forget

The lemons or salt

That bring it all to life

The lush pucker juice

That topped with snowy prickles

Of the sea’s distilled kiss

It all jumps for joy

When I hit the button

It tangles and smooths

Into a tiny whirlpool

Yellowish over and under

Mixing, mushing, melding

Into the best in the world

Mama’s hummus!

Made twice every week

 NaMoWriPo #18: I got home at 10:30 p.m. and my bed is definitely calling me!

Past Bedtime

Eyelids sinking down

Like a garage door frozen

Motor strains to lift

 NaMoWriPo #17: Nothing but quick poems this week as I’m busy, tired, and fighting falling down into cynicaland too long.

 

Disengaged Ed

When teachers teach you

Listen well

Fears of the future they hope to quell

If you come in after the period bell

A day of reconning when you can’t spell

Except for four-letter words like hell

And then you’d wish you’d more to sell