Wednesday, April 10, 2019

NaPoWrMo: #9 & #10 Bumpy Callings and Grief


I thought I was only going to write one poem tonight, but another immediately followed the other. I think because I was looking for a play on my shelf and a bunch of programs from my brother’s funeral fell down and scattered all over my floor. I didn’t realize at first what they were but I picked them up and was a little startled. Grief sometimes conks you hard on the head when you least expect it.

The first poem, I’m not sure where that popped out from either except I’m studying hard to pass more state tests and my mind wanders to “what if…” as in I don’t pass and why things are hard, but then I say “shut up” to it and write poetry.

The Bumpy Side of Easy Street
Some people seem to skate
Having not much on their plate
There is another way to go
Even though the way is slow
To struggle and strain
And live through pain
Or seem like you are stained
You remain walking without complaint
Dodging boulders, rocks, and jumping potholes
Diving down deep into the middle of your soul
A tunneling out to break onto the surface
Searching for a calling or purpose
Listening hard to the whispers of God
Reminded that you are his child on this sod
I always wonder if the way was more smooth
Would I be in a servant mood?
Or would I slip off a path made of glass
To lounge sweetly in the grass
Maybe it just looks that way
Or I catch a person on a good day
When really, we all climb our way up
Wishing there was a thing as luck


Grief’s Burnt Offering
I have a ripped corner
That is leaking out
Ever so slow my memories
When each person I love goes
At first, when they drop away
I relive as much as I can
I fan the flames of heartbreak
Working tunes of long forgotten bands
Laying out negatives
As a slide show
And some so faded
I wonder if they can be rescued
To be looked upon one more time
It is agony not to see the detail
To guess at colors
And washed out faces
Looking at hand written notes
With handwriting I can’t decipher
When my friends and relatives
Leave me here
I realize I only know half the story
Or haven’t even heard it one time
And I am cut again
So, the tiny hole
Gives way to the weight
Of the sand like contents
Of my longing
For one more touch
Word or wink
That is a smothered flame
Still smoldering under the substance
That was us
Now the thing that
Covers and continues to smoke
Showing that it was there
We were there together
Now two essences in contrast
Not able to give each other
What the other needs
Because we are apart
The burnt offering
Rising to Heaven
Holding up angles in choir robes
As it is denser than clouds
And warns as it warms
The citizens of that city
Another sacrifice has been made
To please the mighty priesthood
And floodgates of my eyes open
As the charred spirit stings
Releasing the song
For only you I sing

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