Empty tonight as I have an early morning IEP, and I've had my head in that. Too tired to write and no time. So, they said if we had to we could submit something ridiculous in a lights up, something happens on stage, and then lights down if we had to one night. This is that night! The prompt was "snark". I did write a musical on "The Hunting of the Snark" by Lewis Caroll, but that would be cheating. So here is my answer to the prompt and especially for my sister Kathy, who introduced me to this terrible earworm!
Snark
Setting: Bare wooden stage. Ragged curtain. ENTER BOY IN SHARK COSTUME. Spotlight up.
(SHARK BOY waves fins and clears his throat to sing)
SHARK BOY
Baby snark! Doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, do!
(SOMEONE from the audience throws a starfish at him.)
Hey!
AUDIENCE MEMBER
Anything but that!
(SHARK BOY hesitates)
SHARK BOY
Baby! Snark!
AUDIENCE MEMBER
Boo! You can’t even get it right! Not that I want to hear
that horrible earworm. Really, you got anything else?
(SHARK BOY thinks and shrugs his shoulders)
AUDIENCE MEMBER
How about (sings the JAWS theme)?
(SHARK BOY shrugs his shoulders again)
Can’t even identify! Unbelievable! Do you know what you are
supposed to be?
SHARK BOY
A snark!
AUDIENCE MEMBER
Shark not snark! S.H.A.R.K Shark.
SHARK BOY
Baby snark! Doot, doot, doot, doot, do, do!
(AUDIENCE MEMBER charges the stage as DADDY SHARK
ENTERS, singing. AUDIENCE MEMBER tries to clear the stage as a ridiculous number
of PEOPLE IN SHARK COSTUMES flood the stage, singing, drowning out the protests
of the AUDIENCE MEMBER. The AUDIENCE MEMBER gives up and leaves the auditorium
through the house loudly protesting as HAPPY SHARKS party with a wild version
of the Baby Shark song, slowly EXIT the stage, celebrating. SHARK BOY waves as he
is the last to EXIT the stage)
SHARK BOY
Baby Shark!
(Spotlight out. END OF PLAY)
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