Tuesday, November 11, 2025

November Playwrighting 11: Angels Weep No More revamp of Act 1 Sc 2

 I realized yesterday that I have a nasty habit of bringing in a bunch of other characters into a script when I'm searching for more to do or for ways to solve problems, instead of dealing with the problems on hand and the characters already in the scene. So I went back into the script to do a reapproach with this scene and see if I can get around bringing more characters in even though they are interesting people. I need to make the people already on stage better. I start stalling still at the end of this scene and I can see it needs tightening, but it is getting back to the problem.

(he rolls her over onto her back and goes in for the kiss)

                                JIM

Rock and roll goddess.

                                JANIS

Egotistical rock god.

(They kiss and roll. They sit up more eagerly, groping. She grabs the now-empty Southern Comfort bottle and breaks it over his head. He is out. GABRIELLE, PATTY, AND PEARL applaud the breaking of the spell. JANIS startled and confused EXITS running)

 

 

Patty

No, our guide! Don’t go!

gabrielle

S’arrêt! S’arrêt!

                                PATTY

Janis! We come in peace!

                                PEARL

She can’t…I must!

(PEARL is too woozy to chase her)

                                PATTY

No, you’re bleeding. Oh dear….

(she starts to swoon)

                                GABRIELLE

(slaps PATTY) Non! Non!

                                PEARL

You have to go…

(GABRIELLE catches PEARL as she faints)

 

                                GABRIELLE

Americans!

(She checks that they are breathing)

C’est impossible! Jim Morrison et Janis Joplin, porquoi?

(As she paces WEEPING ANGEL with OTHER ANGEL take JIM away)

C'est impossible ! Comment est-ce possible ? Je dois rêver. Ils m'ont peut-être drogué ? Non, j'aurais bu quelque chose, senti quelque chose, ou touché quelque chose. Aïe, qu'est-ce qu'ils m'ont encore fai? Où est-il?

(She wakes up PATTY)

Qu'as-tu fait? Où est-il?

                                PATTY

What?

                                GABRIELLE

Où est-il? Where is he?

                                PATTY

Who?

                                GABRIELLE

Jim. Where is he?

                                PATTY

(screams) Where is he?

                               GABRIELLE

Oui!

                                PATTY

No, I don’t know! He was here and now…

(GABRIELLE whistles through her teeth to indicate “gone”)

Uh-huh, but how?

(GABRIELLE shrugs)

You! We were…

(PATTY mimes passed out)

And you were…

(PATTY imitates GABRIELLE)

                               GABRIELLE

Non, I was…

(GABRIELLE paces and turns her back from the scene)

                                PATTY

Come on, when your back was turned someone took him? Who?

(GABRIELLE points at PEARL who is still out)

Pearl? But… Oh God, Pearl! She’s still bleeding… I can’t…

(PATTY turns away)

Is she? Is she still, you know? I can’t look or I’ll…

(PATTY acts out fainting)

You. You look, please? S’il vous plait?

                                GABRIELLE

It is just a little blood.

                                PATTY

Don’t say it! I see it if you say it!

                                GABRIELLE

Say, what?

                                PATTY

The “b” word.

                                GABRIELLE

You Americans are strange.

                                PATTY

Is she alright? She’s still out?

                                GABRIELLE

Oui, it is difficult to tell if she is...

                                PATTY

Oh, God! Alive?

                                GABRIELLE

She alive…good breath…

                                 PATTY

Good. Breath is good. Breathing is good. Why difficult?

                                GABRIELLE

Heads they blee…

(PATTY squeals)

Ok, first aid kit in the guard hut. I go get.

                                PATTY

I can get! I can get! Can’t look at her with the… and you have to stay with her if some lunatic is stealing dead or re-dead bodies or whatever he is…was…you know what I’m saying… where is this hut and kit?

                                GABRIELLE

But…

                                PATTY

I’m going! Which way?

(GABRIELLE points)

I’ll be right back. Keep her safe! And alive! Good breaths!

(PATTY EXITS)

                                GABRIELLE

Oh good. Now, just me and you in Pere Lachaise at night and someone took Jim. Who has been dead since… (looks at grave) 1971. That is what, fifty years ago? Non scared. Non. Why Jim?

(PEARL starts to stir)

Ah, good.

                                PEARL

What happened?

                                GABRIELLE

Stay still.

(PEARL tries to get up)

                                PEARL

Still, it is. Did…?

                                GABRIELLE

Oui…

                                PEARL

He.. where did he go?

(GABRIELLE shrugs)

You don’t know? Or can’t tell me?

                                GABRIELLE

Both. Know nothing.

                                PEARL

He has to be here somewhere because you… No you hit me… why? No, wait. Janis hit him… also, why? They… and they… wow! That was amazeballs!

                                GaBRIELLE

Eh?

                                PEARL

Jim and Janis were right here. All of a sudden, they were bam, in front of us!

                                GABRIELLE

How? How did this bam happen?

                                PEARL

I don’t know. It just did.

                                GABRIELLE

Just did? Nothing just dids. Impossible!

                                PEARL

It’s true! All true!

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