This is a song my husband sings to my little boy to get him to sleep," Where have you been all the day Henry my boy? Where have you been all the day, my pride and joy?" That's what I wonder when I see how long it has been since I've posted anything. Time zooms by and I look up to think, where does it go? Many things I think about, but few get posted.
Time and the lack of it or how fast it goes or how little my life changes the older I get seems to be a theme when I'm looking through my old journals lately. We've been moving to our first house that we just bought. This is a huge change and yet just seems like it is about time. I'm contemplating where I've been and am going as I'm turning one of those birthdays that end in "0" this year. It makes one think and think and think and think some more about what can I do differently? So, I'm vowing to myself and picking up the pieces again of what I want. Kind of like a new year's resolution daily. Here's a poem from one of those journals in 1999.
What grows in my belly is so sweet
a complete, neat folded map
with rivers, mountains, deep valleys
Thick sap runs down my trees
a cold, clear evening breeze filled to the brim with stars
I never was competent with directions
can't tell where the sun faces
I go through my paces
wrong turn again
I ask a friend for directions
or where I might be on this map
"Don't know", they always say,
"It's way, way deep inside you
Can you find it?
I hope so, because I can't help you".
It's dark at the top of the stairs
Can you turn on a light?
It's got be here somewhere