Shoring Up Grace

This poem is about a lot of things right now I’ve been going through and yet about my past also. Things I’m always learning. Written 11/5/2013 after a tough rehearsal night with a new script.

Reconstruction

I am so aware of what is hers and what I’ve created around it

The shaky form that held within its promise

I was drawn to it, barely knowing what it was

All I knew is that I wanted back in

I wanted to return to doing

To being a part of a family

That I’d dropped out

Become a distant visiting soul

Dancing on the fringes

Of a group of people

I admired

So I waited to come

To hold again a map

Returning me down that road

With bumps and winding

Meanders past deep lakes

That I dive into with eyes

That cannot see past

My own nose

In I plunge

This time over my head

Drowning in words, limits, and love

Struggling in the undertow of dramatic construct

Deconstructing what is there to layer over top

A canvas to make this boat to sail

Fast across that lake

Not weighted down to sink

On the bottom

To skim slick across the top

To get somewhere

I get out at the other shore

Walk down an unknown path

To a golden sun

Burning hot against those hills

Rising emerald green gems

To turn dark blue with cold

As the sun downs behind them

Leaving me alone

Look up, you say

She is gone

Above you are the points far off

That say you are not alone

That guides the boat

Who brought you to the path?

Gave wind to fill the sail

Warmed by the sun and marked it

Going out behind what seemed so green

And then silent black blue

And you were frightened in that silence

Until you turned your eyes away from the depths

Or the storm

Or the path

Above you is an expanse

That goes on and on and on

There is no limit

To the gift of grace given in this moment

You are not ever alone